Saturday 23 April 2011
..so i think i have writers block... or whatever you would call it for a website... I think the problem is I have way too many ideas im focusing on and its becoming overwhelming.. Which is kinda sad because i feel like im not getting anywhere with anything.. I still cant sleep, not for lack of trying, but ive come to realise that sleep is where i am haunted of what should have, could have been... Even with sleeping pills i just cant seem to relax.


Wish i could tell you more, but im just sad and overtired really... 
Tuesday 19 April 2011
have been madly working on a new project the last week.. its coming along, but not ready for public domain as yet! Today has been my first break from any work on it .. yes i do need to get back into the real world occasionally! Had a job interview today, which went ok.. So far its been about 5 hrs of interviewing and testing, for a casual entry level role that doesnt pay much more than the minimum wage!! :/ 

So i conqured the train today. I havent been on a train since being heavily pregnant. I remember the morings well, going in to work and home everyday - listening to pregnancy podcasts and being silently outraged that people never gave up their seats.. It just doesnt feel right now.. heading back in to look for work.. I shouldnt be in this situation, i should be a sleep deprived new mum.

Instead im just  a sleep deprived lost soul, Oh i took a stillbirth book on the train to read too.. BIG mistake.. got teary only 2 pages in.. not a good look in public..

I took a few pills so i can get some rest tonight, hopefully it will calm my mind as well.