Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Quiet Moments

20:18 | Posted by | | | Edit Post
Had a quiet day today, Im not sure i like those too much... It usually means at least at some point i have time to stop and think, and have tears streaming down my face.
But, at the same time a need to allow myself time to grieve. Time to get it all out, not supress things..
I had to pick up his things from the funeral home today. that was tough, and even tougher I know im going to have to go back soon to pick him up, his ashes, all we have left.
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Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Scattered Thoughts

20:13 | Posted by | | | Edit Post
I dont think im very in touch with my emotions.

If someone asked me how i was feeling now... I would have to say.. comfortably numb. I still cant sleep well, and no Dr's pills are fixing that

I escaped to the shower before.. and had one of those random thoughts... I realised that i will never hold my little boys hand again. He's really gone.

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The Giraffe

20:12 | Posted by | | | Edit Post


I forgot to mention the giraffe in my story of the beginning. Yes, Giraffe. But it was the night that i told DP i wanted to start watching his lame human body documentaries. Just prior to that, the TV show Monk was on.. there was a shot of him going into a baby's nursery.. and there was a giraffe. I dont know why .. but i thought I MUST HAVE THIS FOR my baby.


So how do you track down a'stuffed giraffe you happened to glimpse on a random TV show and decide it would be perfect for the child you may possibly be pregnant with?'

i dont know

but somehow i did


I never got to buy the giraffe in the end... but a part of me thinks its still important. I will get Evan his giraffe one day.
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