I cant beleive its May already!


This month marks 3 months since Evan was taken from us... and the magic month where we can think about taking another shot at this baby stuff. Im lucky i have a partner who is so on board with this, he wants a child of his own more than anything right now. I do too, but i dont want it to be a 'bandaid baby' the one we have to have to heal us... but i do think it will go a long way into helping with the process - i just dont want to feel like we're just forgetting and moving on.. I miss him so badly.

So DP wants to get all healthy and stuff before TTC - yeah ideally i would to but i feel like this first cycle would be its own blessing- having a baby before Evans first birthday would soften the blow a little, having a baby a few months after a friend who is currently pregnant would soften the blow of having to see her with her baby... I just want to start the process now... Baby Gods - let us have this one, next month would be just too close to Evans birthday, and thinking further into the future is too unbearable right now.. please, just give us a break for once!!!!